Carols of Dysfunction: A Christmas Song Game

Step 1: Carols of Dysfunction: A Christmas Song Game

Christmas is that magical time of year when family and friends gather together and chaos ensues. Uncle Benny drinks too much spiked eggnog. Aunt Elizabeth sits in her chair and quietly breaks wind. Mom and dad squabble over who had what chore to do. Your siblings discuss your embarrassing childhood moments...

So why not combat the often (but not always) endearing dysfunction with a cheerful little holiday game called "Carols of Dysfunction"?

The game is simple. There are 72 cards with common Christmas songs (and 12 blank cards in case you need more songs) and a die describing how a drawn card should be performed¹. Perform the song, hope desperately that someone guesses it, and earn points.

First one to eat all the cranberry sauce wins²!!!

¹Clap: Clap your non-dominant on your thigh to the tune of the song.
Fish Lips: Smoosh your cheeks together so you get fish lips and then hum the tune of the song.
Ding: Replacing all words (or notes) with the word “ding,” sing the song.
Meow: Meow the song or tune.
Wookiee: Make wookiee noises to the tune of the song.
Drum: Tap your hands on the table like a drum to the tune of the song.

²Not really. No one ever truly wins that game.

Step 2: Materials

You will minimally need the following (because the guests are already arriving):

Scissors
Glue

Print out the Carols of Dysfunction (Minimum).pdf, cut out the songs into strips, toss them into a hat (or stocking if you want to be festive), assemble the die, and follow the instructions (or guess what the rules might be - I won't judge).

If you want to take it to the next level and have a game that you can store on shelf and use for years (or give as the most awesomest present EVER), you will need this junk:

Copy of CarolsOfDysfunction.pdf printed on cardstock
Scissors
Glue stick
12 oz Can (preferably empty and clean)
Can saver lid (the pet food kind)
Circle cutter
Tape
Clear spray paint
Contact paper
Self-healing mat

Step 3: Clear Coat Pages

Apply a layer of clear spray paint to each page to ensure the lettering stays pretty through game play.

Step 4: Card Backing

Cut contact paper slightly larger than the sheets.

Note: The reason for this is to make each card more robust and discourage peeking, and for the same reason, keep contact paper uniform in appearance such as solid colors or very small prints.

Note: If you'd rather not use contact paper, you can use posterboard or wrapping paper - just apply it with spray glue.

Apply to the back of each sheet with game cards.

Roughly trim edges.

Step 5: Circle Cutting

Tape pages to the self-healing mat at the corners.

Cut out circles at 2 ⁵/₁₆".

Step 6: Die Assembly

Cut out the die around the outer most perimeter.

Fold edges.

Glue.

Step 7: Can Assembly

Cut out the instructions and glue to the side of the can.

Stuff the cards and die inside, and put a lid on it!

Step 8: Other Thoughts

I didn't put a time limit on turns, but please feel free to do so if play gets out hand!

Feel free to change out performance tasks. Here are a few ideas:

Beaker - Sing like Beaker from The Muppets
Coco - Sing like Coco from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Nyah - Sing like Nyah Cat.

If there's a song that absolutely nobody knows, throw it out (or keep it as a "You lost your turn" sort of card).

Please let me know in the comments how you've played the game and what works for you.

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